Fun With Insults
by MiseryScattered
Summary: Yusuke tries to help Kuwabara get back at Hiei for insulting him but ends up getting insulted himself.


Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. I do not make any money off of this work.

"Fun With Insults"

Yusuke yawned and reached his arms far over his head stretching until he heard a pop in his shoulders before letting his arms fall lazily to his sides again. From his bed Yusuke looked over at his friend who was pacing back and forth across his room fists clenched and mumbling to himself.

"Yo Kuwabara, what the hell are you doing?" hearing his friend's voice he looked up thinking he probably should have explained himself 10 minutes ago when he burst into his room and started pacing. He rubbed the back of his neck and sat down on the edge of Yusuke's bed facing away from him.

"Well...?" Yusuke said impatiently annoyed at him for barging into his room and waking him up so early in the afternoon and not saying a word to him.

"Hiei pisses me off so much! You know Urameshi he had the nerve to call me a 'big red chicken'! A big red chicken?" Kuwabara turned around to face Yusuke and pointed to his own face. "I am NOT a big red chicken! I don't know who that shrimp thinks he is that he can talk to me like that, but when I find him im going to pound his face in!" Kuwabara yelled his rage turning his face bright red.

Yusuke tried so hard to stifle his laughter but this was just too good and he gave up and just laughed hysterically. Clutching his stomach as he tried to catch his breath, he looked at his friend and wiped a small tear from the side of his eye Kuwabara just looked more pissed.

"Sorry Kuwabara, but I haven't heard that one before." He snickered. "You shouldn't listen to Hiei though, he's just got a stick permanently shoved up his ass he can't help it. What you need to do instead of trying to kick his ass, is just come up with an insult that would just leave him speechless. I promise you it will be way more rewarding." Kuwabara looked at him like he just grew a second head. How could insulting him be better than seeing his face beat to a bloody pulp?

"What kind of insult? he hates it when I call him a shrimp. That works pretty well." He said scratching his head.

Yusuke sighed. "That doesn't do anything. He's so used to hearing it hardly gets a rise out of him anymore. You need something new, switch it up a little bit." Yusuke looked at Kuwabara's blank look and rolled his eyes.

"Well the best way to get to Hiei would be to feed his ego. Compliment him, then turn the compliment into an insult. Do you understand?" Yusuke sighed again when he looked back up at his friend who still wore the same blank look and began to think of one himself at least if he came up with a good one he could still watch Hiei's reaction even if it wasn't him that was saying it.

Yusuke thought for a few minutes while his friend had returned to pacing. "Hiei's fast." He said simply. Kuwabara raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah so? That's not really an insult Urameshi..."

"Well you can start by admiring how fast he is and then ask if he is that fast at everything he does. Like if he only lasts a minute when he's having sex." Kuwabara made a disgusted face not liking where this was going. As Yusuke continued to think Kuwabara edged himself closer and closer to his bedroom door and when he was sure that Yusuke hadn't taken notice he slipped out.

"You could say something like... Hiei you're so fast are you also quick to come in the sack?" Yusuke snickered and nodded to himself in satisfaction when he felt a draft, he looked up and noticed his window was open for some reason. He looked around the room and saw no sign of Kuwabara.

"You should be more careful when you are talking to yourself. You never know who may overhear." Yusuke's eyes widened and he searched around the room finding a dark figure standing in the corner of his room.

"H-hiei? What are you doing here?" Hiei didn't answer but moved toward him looking him in the eye.

"It's very rude to assume something like that Yusuke Urameshi." He said leaning in and glaring at him. Yusuke laughed.

"Well there is no one that I know of that knows what you're like in bed so I could be right." He said glared back at him jokingly. Hiei smirked which made a chill go up Yusuke's spine.

"Your mom knows." He said simply.

Yusuke's jaw dropped. He had said that to him so many times that Hiei was glad that he was finally able to get him back with the same phrase that he had used on him so much recently. After Yusuke's shock wore off it was quickly replaced by anger and he lunged for the smaller man who quickly moved out of the may and Yusuke fell out of his bed hitting the floor hard.

Hiei laughed from the windowsill as his friend quickly climbed to his feet and chased after him again. Hiei easily jumped out the window and into a near by tree giving him one last smirk before he was gone leaving Yusuke hanging half out the window.

"Come back here you little demon gnome! Don't just run away!" Yusuke screamed out the window. After Yusuke was sure Hiei was gone, and not coming back he slammed the window shut and locked it.

"Kuwabara! If you are still in my house you better get the hell out!" he yelled and was rewarded with the sound of the front door slamming. Yusuke sighed and flopped back onto his bed intent on going back to sleep if it was even possible after what just happened. He rolled around restlessly a few times and made a mental note before he dozed off to come up with something to pay back Hiei and Kuwabara for starting the whole thing.


End file.
